MINDNIM

woo! i’m going to bed before 4am for the first time in a while. hahaa.

“what was that phrase you made up bout haters? I swear you should keep a voice recorder handy everywhere you go”- RB

ahahhaa i love her.

have the MOST priceless conversations ever. 

ahaha i could laugh for days about the things that happen to us. 

snoop deohdoublegee wishes they all could be CALIATTLE girls. lol!

but it’s crazy the things people do to gain your trust only to let you down.

i should know not to trust anyone cuz if there’s anything i learned from LA, that was it. i just thought maybe he was different from the rest. he’d always be that one homie that always had my back. i never had to ask for anything. and i figured since he offered, he would follow through. but i guess i was wrong. you can’t expect everyone to be down like that. 

thanks, you just proved my theory. and you know exactly what i’m talking about cuz we’ve talked about it many times before.

how do you expect to please others when you can’t please yourself. if you’re so self conscious and worried about what other thinks you’ll never realize that no one actually cares. we’re all just hanging out, doing our own thang. you don’t have to sweat it. i just feel like some people are so uncomfortable with themselves it stops them from having fun. and i can see it hella clearly so it makes it that much harder for me to have a good time, myself. like i wish i could just do something to help them relax and just enjoy their life but at the same time, the things i try don’t always work, nawmsaying? 

to find someone who’s chill and shares all my views.

when i talk to this certain person, we realize we have a lot in common(despite all of our completely opposite preferences) and it surprises him just as much as it surprises me. we were talking about how its unfortunate to watch some friends let things get the best of them and i told him that i’m the type of person who doesn’t believe in forcing a person to change or forcing them to believe something i believe, but as long as they know i’m always going to be there for them, i almost just keep it cool so that if and when they do actually need me, i can do my part and help them out. i wouldn’t say i’m confrontational but i’m definitely going to let a homie know what i think if they ask. i’ve always been that one friend thats brutally honest with you but i don’t think it’s anything bad. if you’re going to be a good friend, you should also know that you’re keeping that friend accountable. and if he or she doesn’t respect and appreciate that, they’re simply not worth keeping around.

i just love that he understood every bit of what i had to say. like it’s honestly pretty hard to come across someone that knows whassup. 

we’re just hella “real with it,” as he would say. haha.

so all these people i haven’t heard from in forever are hitting me up.

it’s a weird feeling. aboutta break into tears over here. not really though haha i’m so lame 

like the other day, ray, alice, joseph, josh all hit me up and were telling me to come back. i haven’t talked to ray since 09’. and mark just hit me up on fb chat. he was probably one of the first people i met in LA; we also haven’t spoken to each other since 09’. 

i just get these random flashbacks sometimes. and i was thinking about how mark picked me up from the LAX airport after the first time visiting Seattle since my move. that night, he waited at the baggage claim, helped me with my broken luggage bag, and we listened to nujabes in his beemer the whole ride home. i thought we ended up on bad terms so i told him and all he said was “we did?” lol. “aww its weird though, i always pass by where your apartment is when go to the grove, and i always wonder “hmm i wonder how esther is doing” 

it’s pretty relieving to know that we’re still cool. a lot of my relationships are still left a mystery though. i’ve met way too many people and things are just better left unsaid sometimes. but i’ve already accepted the fact.

this could all just be about closure. i really don’t know. lately, i’ve just been in this nostalgic state of mind. it’s good and bad.

its hard to know. there were 9 others who interviewed, i didn’t have any banking experience, and i was clearly the youngest candidate, but i honestly believe that i wouldn’t have gotten the job if it weren’t for God. faith plays a big role in my life. you can take that or leave it.

Ask me anything

werd it’d be nice to catch up

fsureee

ive got plenty of stories stored back in my brain of 09-10

ahaa

haha, from LA?

haha yeah but i cant think of em unless someone reminds me loll

but more importantly i wanna catch up with you and hear about your lifee

i feel like i know nothing about you ! it makes me sad

haha

haha, i’m sorta blushing! That’s nice to hear

Sadly, I dont have many interesteing stories

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hehe i love talking to people i never talk to.

aw thankkkks alot!

haha yes. but i’m always the girl who wears black nail polish and leather bracelets to an a&f group interview(both of which are not allowed) just because i know i’ll get the job(true story) ahaha. i’m not cocky, it’s just confidence c(:
my abm knows i have the tongue piercing and it’s not usually allowed but i got hired sooo it ain’t even a thang!

Ask me anything