MINDNIM

eezysayss:

there is a lady standing out on a balcony right across from my apt. she’s stretching with a showercap and a pink shirt dress on. ahaha.

i haven’t woken up this early (5:30AM) in a while. currently running off two hours of sleep, and definitely dreading a full shift at work. i hate closing..

At around this time last year, i was living such a different life. you could say it was the fast life. i always woke up to something crazy. most likely fell asleep to something crazy too. and now. i wake up to this same room, my single bed, the same routine schedule. this time last year, my roommate was getting eggs for breakfast when she got bonked in the head by an empty bottle that had fallen from the top of our refrigerator. and that same night, i was coming home from work, where i saw deborah from i love raymond, nicole richie, joel madden, and baby harlow walking like a drunk slut, which didn’t surprise me. i would end that night eating ice cream with my roommates on our beds at 1 in the morning. the thing is, i still felt like some parts of my life were empty. i took so many hits and shook so many things off that even these things became of routine to me. it really is easy to feel like nothing in a buzzling city, you’re just one person out of a million. you drop a personal belonging on the floor and no one even bothers to tell you. but it’s also just as lonely when you go from something that chaotic to living in your own house and your own room without any roommates. especially when you only had 13 roommates within a one year span..ha.

i’ll admit though, there’s something magical about getting lost in utter chaos. and learning to let some things take care of itself because it’d be impossible to control everything in life. now, i feel there’s much less to get “lost” in. but i can say i’ve gotten so much from these two contrasting experiences though. a lot of times, it’s misery in the moment. but that misery is just a blessing in disguise..just a thought.